When Nothing Feels Like Anything: Understanding Hypoarousal (Part Three)
It's 9:47 PM. You've been scrolling TikTok for... how long? An hour? Two? You're not even watching anymore—just swiping. Your partner asks if you're coming to bed. You say "yeah, in a minute," but you don't move. Your body feels heavy. Your brain feels foggy. You're not anxious. You're not sad. You're just... nothing.
Or maybe it's this: Your child’s teacher sends an email asking for volunteers for the field trip. You're already drowning—work is overwhelming, you haven't had a night to yourself in weeks, and your to-do list is giving you stress hives. But your thumb hovers over "reply." Before you can stop yourself, you type: "Happy to help!" You hit send. And then you sit there, numb, wondering why you just said yes when everything in you is screaming no.
Or this: You're at Costco. You don't even remember driving here. You're standing in the middle of the aisle with a cart full of stuff you don't need, and you can't remember what you came for. Your body is here, but you're not.
If this sounds familiar, you're not lazy. You're not broken. You're not "just tired."
You're in hypoarousal—and your nervous system is doing its job.
What Is Hypoarousal? (A Quick Recap)
In Part One of the series we talked about the Window of Tolerance—the zone where you feel present, capable, and able to handle life's ups and downs. When stress pushes us outside that window, we end up in one of two states:
Hyperarousal (too much activation): anxiety, panic, racing thoughts, fight-or-flight
Hypoarousal (too little activation): numbness, shutdown, disconnection, freeze-or-fawn
In Part 2, we explored hyperarousal and how to regulate when your system is revving too high. Today, we're talking about hypoarousal—what happens when your nervous system hits the brakes so hard that you go offline entirely.
Hypoarousal is the result of freeze and fawn responses, which can cause you to shut down when faced with significant stress, adversity, or trauma. Our nervous system uses a hypoarousal response when we've exhausted other survival options. It's what happens when your body decides that fighting or fleeing isn't an option, so it shuts down to conserve energy and protect you from overwhelm.
Here's what hypoarousal can look like:
Emotional numbness or flatness
Brain fog, difficulty concentrating
Feeling disconnected from your body or surroundings
Doom-scrolling for hours without realizing it
Saying "yes" when you mean "no" (people-pleasing, fawning)
Physical heaviness, fatigue, wanting to stay in bed
Feeling like you're on autopilot
In this state, the nervous system slows down. Heart rate drops, energy drains, and everything can feel foggy or surreal. You're not panicking—you're just... gone.
Your Nervous System Is Doing Its Job (Co-Captain, Not Villain)
Before we go any further, let's get one thing straight: hypoarousal isn't a character flaw.
Your nervous system isn't broken. It's trying to protect you. When you deviate outside of your Window of Tolerance into hypoarousal, your body's defenses start to take over.
Think of it this way: If hyperarousal is your nervous system saying "DANGER! RUN!" then hypoarousal is your nervous system saying "We can't run. We can't fight. So we're going to conserve energy and wait this out."
It's an adaptive response. It makes sense.
Common triggers for hypoarousal include:
Early experiences where going quiet or not expressing needs felt safer
Relationships where you learned that being agreeable kept conflict at bay
Overwhelm or burnout from chronic stress without recovery time
Emotional overload that feels too big to process
Sometimes hypoarousal is the result of prolonged hyperarousal—under constant stress, we eventually shut down as a response to the pain.
Here's the thing, though: What developed as a protective strategy might not serve you now.
Your nervous system learned that shutting down was a way to cope with overwhelm. And it still uses that strategy—even when you're not in danger anymore. Even when going numb or scrolling for three hours isn't actually helping.
The goal isn't to shame your nervous system for trying to protect you. The goal is to gently, compassionately help it come back into your Window of Tolerance.
Before You Try Anything: Check In (Head, Heart, Feet)
Before we jump into regulation tools, let's pause. Trying to "fix" shutdown without understanding what's happening in your body is like trying to drive with the parking brake on.
So let's check in. Ask yourself:
Head (What's going on in my thoughts?): 🧠
What am I telling myself right now?
Am I judging myself for feeling this way?
Do I feel foggy, disconnected, or "not here"?
Heart (What am I feeling—or not feeling?): ❤️
Can I name what I'm feeling? Or does it feel like... nothing?
Is there a sensation in my chest? Heaviness? Tightness? Emptiness?
Am I avoiding something I don't want to feel?
Feet (What's happening in my body?): 👣
Can I feel my feet on the ground?
Does my body feel heavy? Numb? Disconnected?
Am I holding tension anywhere, or does everything feel slack?
Write down what you notice. Don't judge it. Just notice.
This isn't about changing anything yet. It's about becoming aware. Because you can't co-captain with your nervous system if you don't know where it is.
Regulation Tools for Hypoarousal: Gentle Activation
Okay. You've checked in. You've named what's happening. Now let's talk about tools.
A few important reminders first:
These are invitations, not prescriptions
Try each tool at least 3 times before deciding if they work for you
Build your own regulation recipe (2-3 tools that feel good to you)
You're not trying to override your nervous system—you're co-captaining with it
When you're in hypoarousal, you need gentle activation to help bring you back into your Window of Tolerance. That's why these tools are about waking up your system, not calming it down.
1. Movement (Get Your Body Moving) 💃
Why it works: While vigorous activity might feel impossible during hypoarousal, gentle movement can be incredibly helpful. Small motions reassure the nervous system that you're safe and not stuck. Movement tells your body "We're safe enough to move. We're not frozen."
Try this:
Jumping jacks: Start with 10. Notice what shifts.
Cross-crawls (Brain Gym): Stand and touch your right hand to your left knee, then left hand to right knee. Alternate for 20 reps. This activates both sides of your brain and can help you feel more connected. Click here for a demo
Dancing: Put on a playlist that makes you want to move. Even if it's just swaying at first. I like to keep it playful—sometimes it's dancing in my kitchen, sometimes it's just letting my body sway while I'm making tea.
Walking: If jumping feels like too much, walk around the block. Let your arms swing.
Stretching: Cat-cow, standing forward fold, or just reaching your arms overhead.
2. Activating Breathwork (Lion's Breath) 🦁
Why it works: Energizing breathwork wakes up your nervous system and tells it "We have energy. We can engage."
Try this: Lion's Breath (Simhasana)
This one is playful and honestly kind of hilarious—which is part of why it works! You literally stick your tongue out and roar like a lion.
How to do it:
Sit comfortably or kneel
Take a deep breath in through your nose
Open your mouth WIDE, stick your tongue out toward your chin, open your eyes wide, and exhale forcefully with a "HAAA" sound (like you're roaring)
Repeat 3-5 times
Watch it here: Lions Breath with Dr.Yogrishi
It's silly. It's fun. And it works.
3. Sensory Activation (Cold, Scent, Texture, Sound) 🧊
Why it works: Using grounding techniques like holding a textured object, smelling essential oils, or splashing cold water on your face helps signal to the brain that it's safe to be present. Sensory input bypasses your thinking brain and speaks directly to your nervous system.
Try this:
Cold water: Splash cold water on your face, hold ice cubes in your hands, or take a cold shower
Aromatherapy: Peppermint or grapefruit essential oils are activating (put a drop on your wrists or use a diffuser)
Texture: Hold something with a strong tactile quality—a stress ball, a piece of velvet, a handful of ice
Upbeat music: Not just background noise—something with energy that makes you want to move
4. Social Connection (Even Small Doses) 👥
Why it works: Connecting with safe, attuned people is one of the most powerful ways to move out of a freeze state. When someone holds space without rushing or judging, your nervous system receives cues that it's safe to come back.
Try this:
Text a friend (you don't have to hang out—just say hi)
Call someone and ask them to talk at you (you don't have to be "on")
Go somewhere with other people (coffee shop, library, grocery store)—you don't have to interact, just be around humans
Even small interactions like smiling at someone can help
5. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) 💪
Why it works: PMR involves intentionally tensing and releasing muscle groups, which can help you reconnect with your body and shift out of numbness.
Try this:
Starting at your feet, tense each muscle group for 5 seconds, then release
Work your way up: feet, calves, thighs, glutes, belly, chest, hands, arms, shoulders, face
Notice the difference between tension and release
This can help you locate your body again when you feel disconnected
6. Watch Something That Gets You Feeling Again 📺
Why it works: Introducing stimulating and emotionally engaging experiences—gently—can help raise arousal levels and reconnect you to pleasure or meaning, which are core components of healing.
Try this:
Watch a show that makes you feel something (not doom-scroll—intentional viewing)
My current pick: Heated Rivalry on Crave
The goal isn't escape—it's activation. You're looking for something that wakes up your emotions, not numbs them further.
How to Build Your Own Regulation Recipe
You don't need to try all of these. Pick 2-3 that feel doable.
Write them down. Put them somewhere you can see them (your phone, your mirror, your fridge).
Your recipe might look like this:
Do 10 jumping jacks
Do 3 rounds of Lion's Breath
Text a friend
Or this:
Splash cold water on my face
Put on an upbeat song and dance for one song
Watch one episode of something that makes me feel
Try your tools at least 3 times before deciding if they work. Your nervous system needs practice.
And remember: These are invitations, not prescriptions. If something doesn't feel right, don't force it. You're learning to co-captain, not override!
After You Try a Tool: Check In Again (Head, Heart, Feet)
Once you've tried one of your tools, pause and check in again.
🧠Head: What am I thinking now? Has anything shifted?
❤️ Heart: Can I feel something? Even just a little?
👣 Feet: Can I feel my feet? Does my body feel more awake?
Write it down. Track what works.
Over time, you'll start to notice patterns. You'll learn what brings you back into your Window of Tolerance. You'll build a relationship with your nervous system that's based on curiosity, not control.
One More Thing: Intentional Rest Prevents Shutdown
Here's the nuance: Sometimes your body needs rest before it crashes into shutdown.
Here's what I see with a lot of my clients: they don't know how to rest intentionally. They push, push, push until they collapse into hypoarousal—and then they feel guilty for shutting down, so they push again. It becomes a cycle of over-exertion and collapse.
Intentional rest is different. Intentional rest prevents hypoarousal.
When you notice the early signs—fatigue, brain fog, emotional flatness—that's your cue. That's your nervous system saying "I need a break before I shut down completely."
So ask yourself: Am I already in shutdown? Or am I catching the warning signs and choosing to rest now?
If you're catching it early, honor that. Rest intentionally. Take the weekend. Cancel plans. Sleep. "Bed rot" (as it's currently being termed) if you need to. Do nothing.
That's not the same as avoidance.
Intentionally resting because you're depleted is different from doom-scrolling because you're avoiding something you don't want to feel. You know the difference. Your body knows the difference.
Honor both. Catch it early. Rest before you crash.
You're Not Alone in This
Hypoarousal can feel isolating. It can feel like you're the only person who can't "just feel something." But you're not broken. You're not lazy. You're not failing.
Your nervous system is doing what it thinks it needs to do to keep you safe. And now you're learning how to gently, compassionately co-captain with it.
You're learning how to come back into your Window of Tolerance—and how to catch the warning signs before you leave it.
That's the work. And you're doing it.
If you're in Edmonton or anywhere in Alberta and you're looking for support with nervous system regulation, I'd love to work with you. I specialize in helping high achievers, people-pleasers, and perfectionists learn how to co-captain with their nervous systems—so they can stop living in shutdown and start living in their lives. If you're feeling called to explore this work further, I have openings for both in-person therapy in Edmonton and virtual sessions across Alberta. https://cranewellness.janeapp.com/
References
Mendable Psychology. (2025, June 15). Understanding hypoarousal and the freeze response. Retrieved February 7, 2026, from https://mendable.ca/freeze-response/
Mind My Peelings. (2022, April 16). How to recognize your window of tolerance. Retrieved February 7, 2026, from https://www.mindmypeelings.com/blog/window-of-tolerance
Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Penguin Books.